I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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