I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
