I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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