You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize