All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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