Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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