I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
