In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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