So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize