I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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