I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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