We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
