i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
