there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize