if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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