I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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