Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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