I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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