So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you win again, gameday.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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