I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize