I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
