First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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