saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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