how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
