That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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