you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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