I cut my penus on the lid.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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