Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
