We won't sleep together?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
