I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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