Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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