youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
