when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
