You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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