Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
