im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
