giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
