Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
