College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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