The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
