It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
