Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
What a dumb baby whore.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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