Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
