i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
