You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
