loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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