There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So squirting runs in the family.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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