How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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