I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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