It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
