I hate your face
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
