it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
