I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize