I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think your dad took our porno
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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