Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
