We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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