fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
