just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
