i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
