Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
