he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
