Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
