you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
