Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You smell like stripper and shame
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
