I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize