spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
