I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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