We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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