Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
