oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Let's get the cat blown out
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
