i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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