I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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