Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
this will be a night to untag.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
